It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. Experiences have presented opportunity but I haven’t felt the same motivation. It felt difficult and stiff. Or perhaps, self-doubt entered the conversation. I’m not sure why. “Writer’s block?” Life? But then it occurred to me, and I reminded myself these penned thoughts and observations were never intended to be anything more than self-reflection - not the next New York Times bestseller. Why worry about a blog? The grammar, the se

"Lifes Etchings" Wrinkle lines that tears Don't erase. A bruise, a stitch, a brace. Not a sound I make, softly walking I fear the egg will break. Quietly, tiptoeing, I am safe. I hide, I shrink Alone, upstairs, I dare to think. TV volume low, closed captions on Trying to be invisible. Pause, listen, breathe. Footsteps approaching, stalking I prepare, I'm aware. Yelling, hurtful claims, threats. Praying for brevity, de-esclation A quick departure. Stay calm, stay quiet, no vo

Selfishly, I started writing for me. No one else, just an anonymous blog that would allow me to put thoughts to paper - well not paper, but tangible. An accountability that would push me to ask the hard questions. And I am trying. But it is harder than I imagined. Years of keeping everything inside have locked me up tighter than a drum. The "Really Difficult" posts have been abbreviated because as much as I try, I still can't let go. My heart races, my breathe quickens. My l

Today I don't feel brave, or capable. I just feel sad. And embarrassed. Take Two. What was I thinking? Put on new sneakers, learn to play the guitar, write this blog - I even contemplated starting a business. And I was excited. Grand plans that would imply I have strength, motivation, and a reason to believe things can be better. But bandaids aren't going to fix the real hurt that keeps me from moving forward. I am exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I have been blessed. Truly ble

This is a post that goes down the path of really difficult. It may not be as flippant, or sarcastic as those I have already written. Before I go on, I want to shout that, "I love my daughter more than ice cream". Oops, I digressed a little. But hey, humor is a god way to make something painful more manageable. My Michelin baby is now a beatiful grown young lady. And so special...she amazes me everyday. But her journey hasn't been easy. Don't get me wrong, there have been laug

Apparently buying new sneakers is not the magical fix for my lack of walking. They look good, they feel good - I've tried them on several times so fit is not the issue. It's motivation. I think.Did someone lock my front door from the outside? It's too hot, it's too humid, I don't have shorts that hide my flabby thighs. I am too damned tired from work. The list of excuses is endless. Why do I do this to myself? Go, don't go, go tomorrow. Aaaah! I am so frustrated with myself.

As I sat in the drive thru waiting behind the weave of cars, feeling inpatient because I was thinking about work. Trying to be early, yet wishing I was going anywhere else, I didn't know I would experience a small moment. A pause for thought. Medium hot coffee, three cream. Yes, I know. Very exciting. A routine. Always a routine with me. But today, it was different. A stranger, not sure why, decided to buy the coffee for the second car behind. An act of kindness. And this is

It's the place, it's the people, it's a combination and culmination of minutes, hours, days....and years? Moments laced together with laughter, love, tears, and travels to places reached through innuendo, questionable thoughts, and silliness. Silliness? Just one word. Spelled incorrectly. Yes, I wanted to spell it with a "Y". Who thought writing could be a deep dive into Webster's Dictionary. "I digress. Distraction. A common thing with all things me. Righting the sails. Bac

A risk. Just the thought of it makes my chest tighten and my heart beat a little faster. Some say, "No risk, no reward." But what if your only thoughts about taking a leap, letting go and putting faith before fear are shear panic. And when I say panic, I mean the terror ridden feeling that your heart may stop, your lungs may collapse, and you may find youself embarrassingly laying on the floor trying to recalibrate all bodily functions relating to staying upright. Today I met

What I realized today, when necessary, my own reflections and journey, need to be put on the backburner. For those who know me, you may not agree. You may argue that I need to be selfish. You may be thinking, "Here we go again." But I vehemently disagree. A compassionate person who cares deeply always has space to ponder the pain of others. Walk in their footsteps, consider their struggle, and be ready and willing to pick up the pieces. All of them. Little pieces, big pieces,

As a woman on the other side of 50, I wasn't planning to start a blog. I contemplated a journal but decided my penmanship wasn't up to the task. Then again, a lot of my life lately hasn't been exactly part of the plan and has certainly gotten a little messy. So, here we are and here we go. Take Two I don't have a grand plan for reinventing myself, but because life sometimes changes its tune, I am going to try to figure out what comes next. And here is where I will write about

A first post, a little perfectionism, and one small decision to put it out there anyway.